How to Build up Confidence

Confidence is a muscle.  It requires constant exercise for visible results.  There are endless articles, self-help books, sessions, etc. available to guide individuals on their journey to self love. I am not where I want to be in terms of my personal morale but feel these habits will soon equip me with the ability to greet the mirror with a smile.

1. Embrace your natural beauty.  This is the most impactful and difficult to carry out.  For the past few weeks I have made it a point to avoid heat on my hair (as mentioned in my hair care routine here) to welcome its natural texture. I have also tried to eliminate numerous makeup products. My daily makeup routine encompasses of: curling my eyelashes with an eyelash curler, lip balm, and moisturiser. This may not be easy to carry out and is highly dependent on your line of work.  Therefore, start by switching out products such as lipstick for tinted lip balm and bb creams instead of foundation.  These are baby steps one can take to help adore their natural beauty.

2. Read.   I love to be wrapped up in bed with my laptop, surfing youtube for hours on end. This is mind-numbing.  9 times out of 10 the brain is not being stimulated and it's passive-enjoyment.  When I was younger, I was blessed to have an endless array of books on my shelf.  Like a Desi aunty and a TV drama, you wouldn't be able to get through to me.  It's so vital that we, as individuals, realise that learning should never stop.  We have the capacity to access a wealth of knowledge at our finger tips.

I am a victim of being addicted to devices as well but have now made it a point to limit my screen time.  Reading more often has positively impacted my confidence.  I find that I am participating more in conversations, especially surrounding current events.  In addition, I've fallen in love with escaping reality into the pages of a book like I did when I was little.  Whilst attempting to branch out in what I read (moving from Buzzfeed articles to autobiographies), my imagination and perspective on different matters are challenged  On a final point, intelligence (with humility) is by far one of the most appealing characteristics one can have.

3. Exercise.  A bad day doesn't dictate a bad life, though it often feels that way in the moment.  I find myself drowning in a sea of despairing thoughts; creeping up on me like a deadline for an assignment.  Completely unexpected. I remember past memories which act as the foundation for my knocked confidence.  To tackle this, I've been channeling that energy into exercise.  Rather than wasting time crying over what cannot be changed, I will work out.  My confidence surges after I'm dripping in sweat with achy muscles. I feel invincible.  That bad energy has burned out of me.  This is a fantastic method to overcome insecurities.  Obviously, make it a point to not overexercise.

4. Dress for comfort.  I take pride in dressing rather modestly. I don't like plunging necklines, tight tops, and loud prints.  It's not my aesthetic.  The moment I started dressing to impress myself, rather than others, I found what I felt the most secure in.  There is no point sporting a classy, revealing number if you are visibly uncomfortable.  Similarly, if you are someone that finds loose and baggy clothes ill-fitting, then don't wear it.  No one wants to look like a potato sack. You don't wear the clothes but they wear you. They will take shape depending on your state of mind.

5. Find a passion or hobby. Sometimes lack of confidence can coincide with lack of purpose.  I've only recently found mine at the age of 20/21.  You will stumble upon this in the most unexpected manner.  Researching and doing activities are different methods to find your passion.  It doesn't have to be anything crazy or ground breaking.  It can be as simple as reading books.  Perhaps you love books so much you may make it a habit to write reviews.  It could be animals and you want to engage in volunteer work centralised around animal involvement.  As minor or major as it may seem, all passions have a place on this planet as long as you are not harming/hurting yourself or others.  This does not have to be a career choice.  It can simply be a hobby that you enjoy taking part.

6. Learn something new.  This may or may not fall in line with finding your passion.  I use to feel I am absent in a lot of qualities.  In all honesty, I thought I was quite a boring character.  However, looking at myself from a third person point of view, there are a lot of things I like to dabble in whether it be this blog, writing, drawing, and dancing.  A new skill I wish to acquire is calligraphy.  Thus, learn something new whatever it may be: cooking/baking, a new language, or even oragami. 

7. Treat yourself. Every Sunday I have a 'Sunday Spa day' which is as cheesy as it sounds.  I will treat myself by taking a hot shower or bath, a face and hair mask, and lather myself with beautiful scented products.  You deserve to feel like a million dollars. Be selfish.  Every now and then, merit yourself.  This can be done by going and having a luxury spa day or outing, but if you're a student like me, buy yourself something you like such as a scarf, dessert, or a book.  These are gentle reminders to ourselves to remind us of our self worth.  Show yourself gratitude, appreciation, and respect. Take care of yourself.

8. Surround yourself with people who value your true self.  The people you are with directly influence your self-assurance.  Those around you should not be demeaning, humiliating, and shattering of your confidence.  Don't change for anyone. Rather, be around those who lift you to be and do better, whilst appreciating who you are at present.  We don't want 'yes men' that blindly agree and do as we say.  It is vital that individuals inform us of when we are doing wrong otherwise our growth is hindered.  Nevertheless, if the people ruin one's belief in themselves, then the circle needs to change immediately.  The crowd plays a huge role, and can take a huge toll.

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